Operate In Your Appointed Position To Be A Hero

Beloved Princess, (Or Prince-R812 (Queen or King)

If you will refresh others, you will find yourself refreshed.

Yes, My beloved, you are called to rescue those who are hurting, but I will go with you and prepare their hearts to receive My love through you. Your heart for the hurting is a reflection of My love for the world.

If you look into the eyes of a lost soul, you will see Me. When you feed the hungry, you are feeding Me, your Lord. Remember this, beloved: I did not come for the healthy, I came for the sick and needy.

Know this, My princess, while you are out on the battlefield serving those who cannot serve themselves, I am providing all you need and more!

Love,
Your King Who Rescues You

Today’s Treasure of Truth
You are a hero on the battlefield. Those things you do for others in My name, you do for Me.

β€œThe angel of the LORD appeared to him and said, β€œMighty hero, the LORD is with you!”
Judges 6:12 (NLT)

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(R812-

Then why do we get burned out etc when we do the above?!

Because we are NOT remembering!

My beloved, you are called to rescue those who are hurting, but I will go with you and prepare their hearts to receive My love through you.

When we are ‘helping people’ w/OUT the guidance of the Holy Spirit…

In other words…the Lord helps us to NOT overextend ourselves.

For it is ALWAYS the Father who creates an actual TRUE change in a person’s heart!

(The church can be full of members but empty in conversion…Church Clap by KB!)

This is why so many are so-called Christians! Hypocrisy abounds!

Tis why so much evil exists and is done in the name of Jesus!

(Corporate evil written of in a previous article…

AND! My recent experience with Sexual Addiction has opened my eyes to how it is at the root of this city (many cities actually), for I do love Seattle!

And the above letter is also my orders from My Beloved 😍🀩!

For the timing is pre-planned by the Lord!

For I said just last night that I am here to combat it all! In the name of Jesus!

I wake up, dress up

(which in itself is unusual (considering current circumstances) but hey! I am being healed, correct? πŸ™‚)

(they don’t make ’em like you no more…😘 (ty Lord! Right back at Cha!) 😚)

Anyway! Where was I? ☺️

Oh yeah! I was sharing the Lord’s love w/ya’ll! 😁

For not only has He sent me! The above says: Make way! I have prepared the way for you, My Love! You are so NOT alone! Just remember me and THOU SHALL BE REFRESHED!

Cause I use to help folk based on me, alone…

Sacrificed everything for it too!

Now that I have Yeshua? πŸ˜„

He will show everyone (including me) HIS GLORY (makes ALL the difference!)

TY YESHUA! 😘

This is why I continue to love You so!

(My Mother, My Father, My Everything!

Help me do what is pleasing to Thee in everything I do! In Yeshua’s holy name, we pray! Amen! 😁🀩

Look & Feel Younger with Christ! :-D

Are people more flesh oriented now, than they use to be? Or is it I am older now ? (Seen more, etc)

BOTH!

And neither!

For ya didn’t mention how the deeper in Christ one goes, one’s view of the World (people) changes.

One’s perception changes AND! The World, people, are/will become more fleshly, away from Christ.

So! πŸ˜€

More/Closer Intimacy with Christ also helps you look younger!

Why?

Being at peace, less stress & more importantly, being loved! Makes one look & feel younger! πŸ˜€

Imagine one’s true desires being in line with the Lord! πŸ˜€

He also can help change your desires that way!

Like Lecrae says in Take Me As I Am, “I thought I had to get better before I came to Christ.”

Instead Lecrae discovered all he needed to do was hold on to Christ & he will change you!

We are unable to create permanent change, for the better, in many areas of our lives!

Tis why we need Yeshua! πŸ˜€

I am speaking of changes that happen without effort!

Put all your effort, your time, your everything, into Christ, in your heart, in your desire, everyday!

How much you love Him will show!

One’s face will glow with it! You may find yourself smiling for no reason. πŸ˜€

For that is what lovers do, ones who have more than just lust.

For they (you & Christ), work well together! πŸ˜€

You ‘gel’ with the Lord!

To be in sync with Elohim, with the Holy Spirit, with Yeshua, in any type of way, is absolutely amazing!

It feels so good! It is so easy (and very difficult, for many are uncomfortable with high levels of Intimacy with anyone!)

Those who have such troubles, the Lord works on you, at a pace customized for you & you alone!

To rely on that? To believe in it whole heartedly? (In spirit & in truth) Not because the Bible says so, but because Yeshua/Elohim speaks your Love Language!

The Lord gives me things! In unique ways, uniquely for me, in unexpected places, times, etc.

He encourages me.

No one else does this. I have the gift of Exhortation (encouragement), does anyone else, with the gift of encouragement, find little of it from others?)

I absolutely need this!

I need to be told how much I am loved! I need to be shown how much I am loved, everyday!

He, Elohim doesn’t have to tell me anything ahead of time, yet He does!

Because He loves me!

Come seek how He will make you feel special, everyday!

(I have reached a new level of Intimacy with Christ, hallelujah.)

(You can too! Those who thirst for the Lord (Are you thirsty?)

John 4:7-14

John 6:35

John 7:38

Jeremiah 2:13

John 7:37

And for those who remember:

Psalm 42:1&2)

Currently…Paul 23, DOL 1

Been noticing a trend (theme) from the Holy Spirit.

1. Let Go and Let God

(heard this many times B.C.)

2. Forgive

a.) if you do not forgive you shall not be forgiven. Matthew 6:14-15

b) Tell/Confess any division between you and God (Elohim)

1b. Anger at Elohim

2b. Not forgiving Elohim

3c. Elohim betrays? Never! πŸ™‚

3. Bless those who curse you

(Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:28)

a.) React/Respond unlike the World

b.) Anyone who thinks, acts/believes evil of /towards you, bless them! (including thyself)

(Luke 6:28)

(people who seek to hurt me in some way (crossing the street some Male Caucasian seeking to impress the female he was with, said, “See i go like this…” and put up his middle finger in my direction-Which took me several minutes later to process it even happened, cause my mind was focused elsewhere!0 (Downtown Seattle, homeless, suitcase on wheels & a couple of bags…i have noticed certain Caucasian Females who step right in front of me, too close mind you. (AND! snide comments like,”They are taking over.” ,”If that were me, i’d scream.) Bless them all! πŸ˜€

Then i discovered some additional steps in the book John, son of Thunder, by Ellen Gunderson Traylor

4. Do good to those who hate you

(Matthew 5:44)

Had a couple of subs and some salads i would never get around to eating before they ended up in worse condition.

i offered it to the lady (and others) who always has to be first in line and do not argue with her, etc, because the staff in the shelter will even make up a rule to cause you discomfort, to get kicked out, etc…in retaliation.

That was a few days ago.

Last night she offered me Maple Doughnut bars from the food bank.

This morning i discovered they were moldy!

i prayed for her.

5. pray for those who use you despitefully and persecute you.

(Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:28)

Do these things so that you will be Children of Elohim, Children of the Holy Spirit!

(Matthew 5:45)

So that Yeshua will ‘know’ you and others will know you as a Son or Daughter of Elohim, in Yeshua’s holy name, amen! πŸ˜€

(someone gave me an NIV (for i am keeping my Leather Bound NASB in storage and now my phone is dead? Typical!

i do not know how to keep a Bible and not worry about how i treat it. Having it be someone else’s first, is helpful.

The fact it is not brand new, etc.

So!!!

When this 6’6 250 something Puerto Rican complexion, hair and all black guy, came up to me, to continue our ‘communication’ of last night, i pulled out my bible instead.

This happened 2 more times, till i didn’t pull it out and ended up following him somewhere.

Point is, another disappointment!

Another opportunity (a better one, a stronger one) to turn him down and keep it that way, tonight! In Yeshua’s holy name i pray! (and pray for me please! i soooo, need all the help i can get! For the spirit is willing, but my flesh…my flesh is extremely weak! (the Lord is increasing it incrementally, hallelujah!) πŸ˜€

Bible Inspiration

Nowhere to Go… But Up from Daily Bible Inspirations

https://dailybible.co/p/r1-l3romhM

Their predicament was no accident. God had specifically ordered Moses to have the Israelites camp there. He had given them no way out.

Perhaps there are times in our lives when we get walled in, when God leads us to a corner and we are untrained and unprepared to deal with the oncoming trouble. We have nowhere to go but up.

Take your fear as an opportunity to grow your faith upward.

His Rest 2

Many today complain of lack of time, how rushed they are, how stressed out they are.

Hebrews 3:7-11

7 Therefore, just asΒ the Holy Spirit says,“Today, if you hear His voice,
8 Do not harden your hearts as when they provoked Me,
As in the day of trial in the wilderness,
9 Where your fathers triedΒ MeΒ by testingΒ Me,
And saw My works forΒ forty years.“10 Therefore I was angry with this generation,
And said, β€˜They always go astray in their heart, And they did not know My ways’; As I swore in My wrath,
11′
They shall not enter My rest.’”

The Peril of Unbelief

12 Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heartΒ that falls away fromΒ the living God.Β 13 ButΒ encourage one another day after day, as long as it isΒ stillΒ called β€œToday,” so that none of you will be hardened by theΒ deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have become partakers of Christ,Β if we hold fast the beginning of ourΒ assurance firm until the end, 15 while it is said,

β€œToday if you hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts, as when they provoked Me.”

Many do not believe they are commiting evil, by not putting Elohim first.

That they have plenty of time to put Elohim first.

Yet these same people claim not to have time, are stressed out and rushing around is gaining on them!

If you want more time, give more personal, quality time to Elohim!

For Hebrews 3:11 & Hebrews 4 says unrest is the peril of unbelief!

The Believer’s Rest

4Β Therefore, let us fear if, while a promise remains of entering His rest, any one of you may seem to haveΒ come short of it.Β For indeed we have had good news preached to us, just as they also; butΒ the wordΒ they heard did not profit them, becauseΒ it was not united by faith in those who heard.

For we who have believed enter that rest, just as He has said,

β€œAs I swore in My wrath,
They shall not enter My rest,”

Therefore, since it remains for some to enter it, and those who formerly had good news preached to them failed to enter because ofΒ disobedience,Β 

He again fixes a certain day, β€œToday,” sayingΒ through David after so long a time justΒ as has been said before,

β€œToday if you hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts.”

Romans 8:12 has posted articles on hardheartedness before (search for hard heartedness or hardheartedness on Romans 8:12’s site for other articles, hard heartedness appears!).

Hardheartedness is also a curse from Elohim, for disobedience, which much of the world has today!

A person gaining more of the qualities of 1st Corinthians 13:4-8, is testimony to growth, new growth! Definately a closer connection with the Vine, Christ, Himself!

More opposition from people who do not even know you, can be another indicator of one’s effectiveness against the devoid.

Internally amazed at your own behavior, for the better, more Christ-like, is the best indicator of Elohim thinking of you as a believer! As obedient to Him. πŸ˜€

While others dance to things not of Christ (in His eyes), pray that they too, one day, not only experience His Peace, His Rest, while being alive, to also continue/remain in His Rest!

For the gulf is widening, the veil thickening between those who pretend belief & those who do not pretend!

Tis why the Holy Spirit has me reiterating His Rest!

For it is an urgent subject!

Since such urgency is being conveyed to me, by the Holy Spirit on this subject,

From past experience something really bad is coming & the only way to ‘weather’ it, will be in His Rest!

For the ‘unbending’ ones will break!

And may the believers be as the Palm Tree in a hurricane, firmly rooted & extremely flexible! Bubble Wrapped by Christ, in Yeshua’s holy name, amen!

(There are those who follow the Holy Spirit, yet have not verbally accepted Christ (& so one’s course/guidance from the Holy Spirit is not as clear, as it will be in Christ)…

Do not fear…He, Elohim will guide you closer to Him!

My darkest day without Yeshua, led me to Him.

May all true believers be included in His Rest, His Protection, His Strong Tower, during the coming storm, in Yeshua’s holy name, amen!

Any good deed outside of Christ falls by the wayside, becomes useless chaff:

John 5:4

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruitΒ of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neitherΒ canΒ you unless you abide in Me.Β 

i bear witness how every good deed i did/attempted, instead led to my downfall! My destruction!

In Christ? Everything i do towards Elohim, is magnified 7-70 times!

B.C. i became overwhelmed, lost, bitter, burned, etc.

A.D., when i become overwhelmed & i cry out and give up, giving it to Christ, i discovered how i was arrogantly trying to do it myself!

How i got in His Way!

What Christ has been trying to teach me all along made sense now, made more sense!

i am discovering why it is so important for us to respond ‘in Love’ at all times!

We are blameless then! Free from sin, in those moments! In Yeshua’s eyes!

i no longer hurt someone like me, B.C.! πŸ˜€ (Crush their spirit).

i am much less afraid of sounding like a ‘Jesus Freak’.

Of being considered one by those not in Christ currently!

For many so-called-in Christ (Christians) have already accused me of such!

And regardless of the non-acceptance, i delivered! As demanded by the Holy Spirit, by Christ Himself.

As reiterated by Christ many times, in different ways!

(Elohim’s way of expressing urgency, direness. He repeats Himself!)

He may say it gently.

When He says it, anything, more than once?!

Please take it to heart!

Those under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, already understand this!

i have discovered my very bad breath, is an answer to a prayer B.C.,

A very strong desire to be ugly instead, sometimes i wished i could tear off my face…

For my looks had/have too many jump to the wrong conclusions!

And i was sick of it! πŸ™‚

Now, i see the benefit of being bait for Christ! ;-D

Being clear, unfettered bait, for Christ!

Currently fettered bait

(pic above, so links will not work)

A chain, enslavement, bondage bait!

And i want no fault or blame to be seen as i speak & walk in/of You, Oh Lord! πŸ˜€

i felt like Pinocchio, an unreal boy, begged to be ‘real’ to be normal.

Not appreciating the benefits of not being ‘normal’ until the Holy Spirit began talking to me, rescuing me, loving me! πŸ˜€

And so, i began with ‘self’, meaning those who claim Christ.

Today i begin with those who do not! Purposefully!

For we search for true believers (sheep) outside of Christ now, for they exist, as did i, in Yeshua’s holy name, amen! πŸ˜€

(Matthew 24, 2018 2pm PST)

2 Timothy 3 Idle Spirits

2 Timothy 3:1-2

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

2 Timothy 3:3

unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

2 Timothy 3:4

treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

2 Timothy 3:5

holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.

2 Timothy 3:6-7

For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak ( or idle) women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

(sound familar ladies? Idle/weak people are the same, regardless of gender!)

The majority of humanity is weak today! Idle in the ways of the Lord!

Know of anyone avoiding work in Christ, Pastors? πŸ˜€ (i can hear the roaring response now!) πŸ˜€

Know of anyone not overworked, in Ministry, my Sisters? πŸ˜€

These are the obvious idle-in-Christ.

There is another definition of idle. Those idle in their hearts, their spirits…in doing the works of Christ.

Those who are ‘busy’ yet ineffective, like the 2nd definition of of idle (in the above pic)

This is why practice Discernment of spirits now, when it is not dire you do so, yet!

The weaker one is in true Discernment, the more vulnerable one is to the influence & charm of the Anti-Christ when it comes. The easier it will be to be included in the majority who will be fooled, by the Anti-Christ.

Those who cannot stand now? Against the demonic attitudes/beliefs/priorities of today? Will have no defense against the Anti-Christ of soon!

What is true Discernment?

Best defined by what it isn’t, False Discernment.

Discernment is a Gift from the Holy Spirit, for every human.

Some people test for the Gift of Discernment now, being stronger in this Gift than general humanity.

All Gifts are to be used under the guidelines of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, if not! Then the Gift is used selfishly, misused, benefitting self/the devoid, not Christ!

There are False Prophets, False Preachers (Shepherds), False Teachers and those who misuse the other Gifts from the Holy Spirit.

Wake Up People!

For this prepares the soil for the devoid/the Anti-Christ and its demons.

For far too many are afraid today! Afraid to stand in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8!

“Stand Up! If you got that power!” Deitrick Haddon-Power

Some are strong in Gift(s) from the Holy Spirit, yet use them (twist them), for themselves & not Christ!

Ego, Pride, Anger, Greed/Ambition/Competition, etc (anything not of Christ), blocks the blessing, the Gift(s) of the Holy Spirit was meant to benefit, humanity.

The Gifts were never meant to be used for status, grandstanding, personal gain (in some form).

When the Gift(s) of the Holy Spirit is used properly (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), then verses like this:

Acts 4:32-35

Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

Are accomplished without effort on our part!

The longer one waits to attempt to ‘curb’ anything not of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8? The more difficult it becomes to even try!

Meaning anyones ‘good efforts’ outside of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, will be consumed by the devoid, have no defense against the devoid, are useless!

Even though it may seem as if someone operating outside of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, may seem to benefit greatly, in the end, it was not built on Yeshua

Matthew 7:24-27

Build Your House on the Rock

24Β β€œEveryone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25Β And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26Β And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27Β And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Phillip 24, Shemesh 1

1 Timothy 4

NASB Bible Gateway.com

v1 But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons,

men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.

1 Timothy 4:3

(Catholic Priests are forbidden from marriage, ooo! & Lent! (abstaining from meat, etc. or does it mean more long term moments?

Everyone hopefully understands the pressure of NOT participating in Lent, is seen as an evil thing)

(for too many look at other people’s faith/beliefs, check self first! (me? My intimate family, the dwelling i live in? the Church i go to? The faith i claim & others see me as? Check these things first before automatically checking others.)

Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. Until I come, give attention to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation and teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you, which was bestowed on you through prophetic utterance with the laying on of hands by the presbytery.

1 Timothy 4:12-14

Some have never had prophetic utterance or the laying of hands.

i do recommend the laying of hands by someone currently walking in the Holy Spirit!

One is baptized in the Holy Spirit this way. It can happen straight from Yeshua Himself, to you, yet Elohim works best through other people.

The Gifts of the Holy Spirit manifest the most around other people.

The Gifts are for others. The individual who has the gift is raised up, when the gift(s) are used via the Holy Spirit, for someone else! πŸ˜€

The gifts are to be done in the way of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Difficult to do when angry, bitter, vengeful, hurting, etc.

That is why i tell the Lord i cannot handle Your Anger! πŸ™‚

Most of the time i cannot tell where His Anger is and mine, together.

i have been experiencing people doubting me, believing my motivations were not good, thinking i lied or did something dishonest.

It didn’t bother me! πŸ˜€

An unusual thing for me! A blessing from the Holy Spirit indeed!

Self-control? Without any effort on my part. πŸ˜€

i see it as the effect of my closer relationship with Yeshua! πŸ˜€ He knows i didn’t do it and this proves that is all that matters to me.

i didn’t even blink, pause on it, nor did i spend lots of time thinking about it (like i have a tendency to do at the end of a day)

Being accused didn’t bother me! i’ve really grown in the Lord! He is truly protecting me. πŸ˜€

This morning, another incident happened, that may be connected to other malicious acts of late.

i was angry, i chose to play gospel hip-hop, etc at a very high volume instead of acting out in anger!

i found myself saying, “I need You to touch someone else Lord! For i do not need to!” Touch Me by Deitrich Haddon

“I got no reason to fear i got Jesus on my side!” I Got That by Anthony Brown &…

You Can’t Stop Me!” Andy Mineo “My biggest enemy is me, and even i can’t stop me!” πŸ˜€

That song brought it home, so i said (out loud), “You will NOT stop me from being merciful, from being kind, compassionate, happy, at peace!” πŸ˜€

Everytime we choose Yeshua over our self, our own fleshy desires, gives us victory! Strengthens us.

Everytime we take our worries to Yeshua (instead of to another person), we are asking Christ to handle it for us!

We learn to let Him do so! We are admitting our weaknesses.

We are leaning on the Lord! (That fall back exercise!)

Then we get to see His Glory, we get to see His hand in things. He enjoys being ‘Our Knight In Shinning Armour’! Our Champion! πŸ˜€

i can see Him smiling, glowing, enjoying this opportunity.

He loves us. He knows what is best for us!

i am grateful not to have bitterness ruin my heart! For anger not to rule my day, my thoughts, my actions.

And it is Bible Study tonight! πŸ˜€ Hallelujah!

Combined with House Meeting! Our first one all together, in Yeshua’s holy name, amen!

Been saying that a lot too…(in Yeshua’s name, amen!)

i am a Praiser! πŸ˜€

Some very powerful prayers happen then! πŸ˜€

i believe in the Holy Spirit overflowing out of me into my surroundings, into anyone in the vicinity!

i visualize it! πŸ˜€

One of my favorite ways of calling on the Lord! πŸ˜€

He tells/told me to continue being myself! This is what i do!

This is NOT a common thing here on the westside, especially in the PNW!

i will be that one!

Isaiah is back home ya’ll! :-D(YouTube won’t allow me to go to my playlists via cellular data only! Must be connected to wifi to change profiles!) :-p (For a certain song popped into my head! Aaargh!) πŸ˜€ Pick Me…? by…? Send Me, I’ll Go-Lecrae & Various Artists

Anywayz! Peace, joy & lots of happiness, in Yeshua’s holy name, amen! πŸ˜€

Phillip 13, Shemesh 1

Quote Aap LKJ 2, Shemesh

(above pic says: Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness)

i believe Faith is misunderstood by many

Having Faith, in Christ, regardless of circumstances, is a gift.

Do you want it?

i never thought my faith would ever shake

it was a scary time for me.

i began to ask Elohim why!

i would say, in my heart,” Lord, You know what is going on, i do not. I do not understand it at all. This is why i need You.”

Constantly.

This is why i pray for these days.

i pray for others, in crisis and i know them not!

i pray to not fall in the same trap.

For i have already witnessed other weaknesses in self, unforseen, the depths of it.

My Faith having earthquakes was in a weird way, welcomed…for i never understood others lack of Faith.

Yet here i was, questioning mine.

From past experiences, in other areas of weakness, i withdrew…as in i lightened my load.

I re-exaimined what Faith meant to me, what Christ meant to me.

Why am i under spiritual attack in this area?

Why am i experiencing negative thoughts/feelings just thinking about reading the Bible?

i never had this problem before, why now?

It came to me that i was out of my mind.

But, why?

Instead of doubting my Faith, i doubled down on the Bible.

i was saying to myself, ” You got problems reading the Bible? Just thinking about it?

Okay then, take this (verse), take that (verse) and that!…”

i began listening to the Bible more than once a day!

imaging the whole time, the demonic spirit thrashing around in death throws, screaming, instead of focusing on my (?) feelings, of the moment.

i drowned it, sufocated it, in my minds eye, remembering, saying, “Faith is not a feeling.” while listening, drawing, (the Bible) talking to Elohim, to Yeshua, to the Holy Spirit!

i became inventive in ways to incorporate the Bible into myself, besides reading it.

i did it regardless of how painful it was.

Hallelujah it wasn’t for long.

i became very angry that the devoid even tried!

to attack me here! at one of my pillars of Faith!

it was WWF in here ya’ll! πŸ˜€

i took the Word in, imaging a huge score on the enemy, with every verse!

i recorded my Favorite parts, Psalms (my faves are the ones that drew me), in my own voice.

Wrote them down and took them with me, whenever i left the house.

Reading them instead of talking to anyone.

i whispered/murmured them, while i read.

Not caring if i seemed crazier than usual, i am fighting for my life here!

The discomfort died quickly, not fast enough for me.

i remembered to not believe these ‘weird’ feelings were mine.

i fought them like the foreign entity they are.

Many make the mistake of believing everything we ‘feel’ is from ourselves, that it is you, who is feeling it.

Like feelings are reality.

Feelings may come and go.

it is up to us which ‘feelings’ we choose to act on!

i remembered, “Faith is unseen. Faith is things ‘hoped for’!”

and i remembered it is a verse in the Bible, while i said it!

Another death toll to the enemy.

Thanking the Holy Spirit, even now.

Knowing He was answering my prayers.

Knowing He is with me the entire time.

Knowing it is Him, who was strangling, drowning, attacking, angry that ‘they’ even dared to cross my threshold!

My Daughter’s threshold.

The Angel’s of the Lord were fighting for me , through me!

tears falling

as i read the same verses over and over.

Desperate i was.

Those Psalms are even more precious now.

i remembered why David was so tortured in these Psalms.

i saw myself the same way.

feeling shame that i didn’t do this earlier.

didn’t fight earlier

for even believing once that, that derision, was mine.

i apologized to the Holy Spirit

recognizing even as i write this,

accepting my part in this

(i cry for you all…if you feel it too -Lecrae Cry For You )

i am human too.

that i need You more than ever.

for taking down my superhero image

of myself

for draping me, covering me, with Your Eagles wings.

For being with me as i lost my mind.

My faith.

Keeping me strong.

For not alowing it to go unpunished for trespassing.

(told you, You Are Mine)

For even daring to come between us.

i pray(ed) that i keep You, beyond my last breath, no matter what happens, incoherently You.

if any part of my body functions, no matter how dysfunctional it may be, let every bit of it, be You.

Like Elijah’s bones.

May Thou be with me even then.

You are My Sanity, My Life.

i am brain dead without Thee.

Allow my body, absent of my mind, to only be used for You, oh Lord.

May ‘they’ never seperate us, even if i loose my mind, every last vestiage of humanity….

i cannot lose, will not lose, as long as i have You.

For You are my humanity.

My Everything.

(and yes, the Chicago Mass Choir song came to mind!)

all of this, reminders from the Holy Spirit.

My Faith, You are.

A simultaneous ty and wow! πŸ˜€

My Glory.

Thou Art.

😘

Hallelujah ! πŸ˜€