(Pic only! So, links must be typed by you) 🙂
I imagine actually hugging my weakness
Currently, sex addiction, not wanting to admit fault, not fully repenting, low self esteem…
I have to rebuild?
No. I remember trusting the Lord enough to be vulnerable!
Yes, but I feel the pain of others snide remarks, when/where I was bubble wrapped, remember?!
Yes and I accept my faults (I do confess my faults… For none forgive my faults but Thee…prayer B.C., Muslim. Just now, I know of more how true that prayer actually is)
Who can discern his error? Psalm 19:12
Who can see all of their own faults?
Do not let willfull sin rule over me
For then I will be blameless
Acquitted of great transgression.
Psalm 19, the above
It is like now those words live!
I am currently living them!
I have done as David did, committed Audultery, willingly too!
My mind so twisted up, up was down & I will no longer allow that!
I will no longer choose that path, inshallah, in Yeshua’s name I pray!
I was worried I was in ‘My David’s, being called Daughter of Life.
I even prayed about it ahead of time!
For that is one sin I begged not to commit.
Audultery was one sin I feared greatly & so I experienced it, in a way …
In other words, no other way would’ve convinced me it was ok at the time!
Now? I would literally choose a near death (physical resuscitation) experience over the hell the Lord freed me from.
It’s like I had to stay in the flames!
I had to stay around evil.
Until a weakness shown through, that brought me back to shame, to embarrassment.
And I won’t fully recover from it until I confess…I lost hope!
I am ashamed I lost hope!
That I lost You!
For You are My Hope!
In Christ, turning to Christ, hanging on despite my confusion, despite my doubt, I believed!
I am ashamed I doubted You.
Despite no hope, despite complete & utter darkness (again)…
For at first I just laid there, in my dejection.
Then I noticed that!
And I began to reach! I began to move!
It was rough, I was bound tight!
I continued to move my fingers anyway.
Then I could stretch out a whole arm, then my entire body crawled, with all of it’s injuries!
I crawled to the Lord, My Savior.
For I believed, in Him I would find my way again, despite how badly, how far off course I was.
So I got to Him so fast, because of my Faith!
For I was so blind.
Yet through it all…
I believed You would save me.
I was mortified at the timing, I expected to be saved, much earlier!
I experienced doubt because of it.
Because i was not rescued like I was accustomed to!
I knew the fault lay in myself.
Now I see how I could have endured that pain, of abandonment, a lot longer!
I am ashamed it did not.
That I was that easily compromised.
May I endure till the end of time.
It would have been preferable to halt, cease functioning, waiting on You.
To Be Still & Wait on Elohim.
Even though thou art in pain, intense pain.
I failed my crucifixion!
Could I have saved others in my pain?
Maybe, definitely myself!
It was pain in an unexpected area
One I believed I had immunity, a natural bubble wrap against!
Pride has definitely left me.
Self righteous no longer
May I remain true
In Yeshua’s holy name, I pray 😢 :’-( , amen
May you be blessed in Yeshua’s holy name, amen.
(While typing this, I really considered not posting it after all, I still wanted to hide!
Therefore, it may not make ‘sense’ to any of you, yet full disclosure (unless He says otherwise) has always been my plumbline.
Just in Christ, I have found a word, that explains it.
Honesty as pure & painful as I can stretch it, keeps me on the straight path!
Keeps me sober, keeps me in the Lord’s favor.
I am a Daughter of His heart then.
I believe He will teach …
(Oh! I am learning ‘new’ levels of confession! (Honesty)
For I was doubting such a high level of disclosure, about myself!
For me to question that was out of character, yet I needed it!
I needed a revaluation of things I have believed or done so long, that I have forgotten why!
Ty Yeshua, for reaching out to me in the darkness/the flames, the furnace.
I was ashamed I got a little burnt.
My Faith faltered.
I am ever so grateful it restarted!
Full disclosure via J2225.
For I did ask! Have been asking.
Ty Yeshua! 😘 Love You! ☺️🤗😁