(Pic only! So, links must be typed by you) πŸ™‚

I imagine actually hugging my weakness

Currently, sex addiction, not wanting to admit fault, not fully repenting, low self esteem…

I have to rebuild?

No. I remember trusting the Lord enough to be vulnerable!

Yes, but I feel the pain of others snide remarks, when/where I was bubble wrapped, remember?!

Yes and I accept my faults (I do confess my faults… For none forgive my faults but Thee…prayer B.C., Muslim. Just now, I know of more how true that prayer actually is)

Who can discern his error? Psalm 19:12

Who can see all of their own faults?

Do not let willfull sin rule over me

For then I will be blameless

Acquitted of great transgression.

Psalm 19, the above

It is like now those words live!

I am currently living them!

I have done as David did, committed Audultery, willingly too!

My mind so twisted up, up was down & I will no longer allow that!

I will no longer choose that path, inshallah, in Yeshua’s name I pray!

I was worried I was in ‘My David’s, being called Daughter of Life.

I even prayed about it ahead of time!

For that is one sin I begged not to commit.

Audultery was one sin I feared greatly & so I experienced it, in a way …

In other words, no other way would’ve convinced me it was ok at the time!

Now? I would literally choose a near death (physical resuscitation) experience over the hell the Lord freed me from.

It’s like I had to stay in the flames!

I had to stay around evil.

Until a weakness shown through, that brought me back to shame, to embarrassment.

And I won’t fully recover from it until I confess…I lost hope!

I am ashamed I lost hope!

That I lost You!

For You are My Hope!

I despaired.

In Christ, turning to Christ, hanging on despite my confusion, despite my doubt, I believed!

I am ashamed I doubted You.

Despite no hope, despite complete & utter darkness (again)…

For at first I just laid there, in my dejection.

Then I noticed that!

And I began to reach! I began to move!

It was rough, I was bound tight!

I continued to move my fingers anyway.

Then I could stretch out a whole arm, then my entire body crawled, with all of it’s injuries!

I crawled to the Lord, My Savior.

For I believed, in Him I would find my way again, despite how badly, how far off course I was.

So I got to Him so fast, because of my Faith!

For I was so blind.

Yet through it all…

I believed You would save me.

I was mortified at the timing, I expected to be saved, much earlier!

I experienced doubt because of it.

Because i was not rescued like I was accustomed to!

I knew the fault lay in myself.

Now I see how I could have endured that pain, of abandonment, a lot longer!

I am ashamed it did not.

That I was that easily compromised.

May I endure till the end of time.

It would have been preferable to halt, cease functioning, waiting on You.

To Be Still & Wait on Elohim.

Even though thou art in pain, intense pain.

I failed my crucifixion!

Could I have saved others in my pain?

Maybe, definitely myself!

It was pain in an unexpected area

One I believed I had immunity, a natural bubble wrap against!

Pride has definitely left me.

Self righteous no longer

May I remain true

In Yeshua’s holy name, I pray 😒 :’-( , amen

May you be blessed in Yeshua’s holy name, amen.

(While typing this, I really considered not posting it after all, I still wanted to hide!

Therefore, it may not make ‘sense’ to any of you, yet full disclosure (unless He says otherwise) has always been my plumbline.

Just in Christ, I have found a word, that explains it.

Honesty as pure & painful as I can stretch it, keeps me on the straight path!

Keeps me sober, keeps me in the Lord’s favor.

I am a Daughter of His heart then.

I believe He will teach …

(Oh! I am learning ‘new’ levels of confession! (Honesty)

For I was doubting such a high level of disclosure, about myself!

For me to question that was out of character, yet I needed it!

I needed a revaluation of things I have believed or done so long, that I have forgotten why!

Ty Yeshua, for reaching out to me in the darkness/the flames, the furnace.

I was ashamed I got a little burnt.

My Faith faltered.

I am ever so grateful it restarted!

Full disclosure via J2225.

For I did ask! Have been asking.

Answer received.

Ty Yeshua! 😘 Love You! β˜ΊοΈπŸ€—πŸ˜

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